Thoughts on Leaving

A big load of burden has finally been lifted off my shoulders. I feel light and almost happy. I say almost because I have yet to see the final outcome. I'm crossing my fingers though that everything would work out fine in the end. Things are starting to make more sense now unlike a couple of days ago where everything was just all fuzzy and blurry. The weather has certainly changed from dreary dark to a sunny one. With the talk I had with my uncle two days ago, the pieces are slowly fitting into the puzzle…bit by bit. I have finally made my decision, which fortunately this time everybody happily accepted. Thank God because I don’t want any more disagreements happening all over again.

I’ve got about three more days before I leave my present work. I have vowed to myself that I am not going to entertain any doubts, questions whatsoever with regards to leaving. I will leave without any regrets. I must say though that it was a good two-month experience. I learned a lot of things, from making a PO down to the simple task of operating an electric typewriter, a Xerox machine even. Also words like “PO”, “PR”, “MIS”, and “OFM” make more sense to me now. I’m not as ignorant anymore. It is also only during these two months that I have actually used the telephone more than I have used it in the past 21 years of my life. (My job requires talking to suppliers.) I’ve also grown accustomed to saying “po” and “opo” that I didn’t even notice that I was saying it outside work already even to people who are the same age as me. I was using it so often that it became automatic. Hehe The work was indeed a very good experience, especially for someone like me whose field or course is so ridiculously far out from what is being asked from the job. It did not work to my disadvantage though because it actually provided a good training ground for me to expand my capabilities and knowledge to a different level. I also got to feel how it is like to be an “engineer”. Haha I wish! Well at least I got to be in the company of real architects and engineers, and learned from them mind you. But more than these, the biggest reward I got was the over-all experience that has helped me grow into a better person. I‘ve emerged stronger and more confident.

Badminton Tourney

Today was the ICAAA Badminton Tournament. I am glad that Candice and I won first place in our level. We started our first game with butterflies in our stomach. But eventually, we overcame our nerves and played well enough to bring the bacon home for Team Globesco. Yey!!! I get to have my first trophy ever...Haha

Aside from winning, I am happy because the badminton tourney kept my mind off on a lot of things. For awhile there, I forgot the problem that has been worrying the hell out of me these past few days. And now that the tournament is over, it is starting to bug me again. I refuse to see it as a problem though because I have already made my decision. I know what I want and I am prepared for the consequences if there will be any. What makes me this confident is because I know that I am not stepping on anybody's feet. I know that I am not doing anything wrong. I just hope that they would respect my decision because it is only I, myself alone who perfectly can tell what would be the best for me. And just in case things don't work out well in the end, at least they wouldn't have the burden of feeling guilty because I have nobody but myself to blame.

Maybe, Maybe Not

It's ironic how things can change so fast you barely even notice that the tables has suddenly been turned upon you. My new job that's supposed to start next Monday is now under murky waters. This is how it happened. I submitted my resignation letter yesterday morning to my supervisor and boss. After a series of unwanted events which I must say is a very long story to tell, I later found out that my supervisor was made to resign effective that day as well. Then I got a call from my uncle asking me to reconsider my decision, which left me all the more confused. I wanted the new job badly. But I would also feel guilty if I will not give in to my uncle's request. To further make matters complicated, my dad is also forcing me to stay despite my insistence of wanting the new job. Nobody seems to be listening to me! It is so frustrating. Very. I'm not even torn with having to choose between the two because I am not even given a choice to decide in the first place. I feel tied down by their own choices and maybe by their own personal reasons as well. I don't know if I should just go ahead with what I want or if I should postpone my own happiness for their sake. I pray that whatever the outcome will be, everybody will be happy. Including me.

I've learned a valuable lesson from my supervisor's supposed resignation. Greed corrupts absolutely. Greed can give you a distorted view of reality. It can really mess up your judgment of what's right and what's wrong. My mind can't comprehend why some people are willing to give up on their principles just so they could have more in terms of material wealth. Is it really worth it? I don't think so. It's not a healthy way to live life. I can't imagine how one could even face God everytime he or she prays. Won't he or she be ashamed? Besides there are a lot of right and positive ways to achieve material wealth if that is what one truly wants. It is just so unfortunate that because some people are so driven with their own selfish interests, they fail to see this. They are driven to having more and more eggs, even if they already have enough in the basket. While I don't see anything wrong with having more than the usual, I find it unacceptable if one attains them through wrong means. I also find it inadmissable if one tries to justify their wrongdoings with something they perceive would be able to contribute to a good cause. The end does not justify the means! Not always. Anyhow, I believe that greedy people are bound to meet their consequences. What goes around certainly comes around. There will be huge payoffs in the end. There will be painful realizations as well. I just hope it would not be too late for them.

Now or Never

I feel like I'm taking a big leap to the unknown. I don't know what's going to happen for the next days or weeks to come. I just hope everything will turn out well. I was able to talk to my uncle awhile ago. He told me to do whatever would make me happy. If I really wanted to pursue a field that's related to my course, then I should do it by all means. I'm quite happy with the outcome. I'm just a bit apprehensive though because of the contractual thing. I have a 50-50 chance. I don't know if it's a risk worth taking. After all, I already have a wonderful job now. I'm not sure if it's such a good thing to throw it all away.

It's weird how you begin to appreciate more the things that you've taken for granted only after when it's about to be taken away from you. I'm now beginning to question my "career move". I don't know if it's well worth the gamble, especially after having that short talk with Uncle Andrew. He kind of told me the opportunities that I would be missing with my current job. Now I'm having second thoughts. My current job seems to score more good points at the moment, weighing just a little more than my about-to-be job. But then I have not given my new job a try yet. So technically it does not count as fair.

NEW JOB
-related to course
-good good pay
-no Saturday work
-more tasks/work to do
-clear steady career path
-work with schoolmates

CURRENT JOB
-adjusted well already
-good work; not a dull boring job
-loads of good learning experience
-always meet lots of new people
-communication skills are enhanced
-friendly officemates
-whole day Internet access

Life is about taking risks. How am I supposed to discover the unknown if I am not willing to go out of my comfort zone? I may leave a lot of good things behind. But I know I will be facing a lot of great opportunities as well. I don't want to live my life always having to think about the missed and wasted opportunities and regretting after that I haven't done anything about it. There will be disappointments for sure. But there will be triumphs as well. I am fully aware that there are going to be some trade-offs. Life isn't fair. I guess I would just have to deal with it.

On Happiness

How happy is being happy? How satisfied is being satisfied? I wonder if anyone in this day and age could still ever stay happy or satisfied for long periods of time. When we’ve had enough of a good thing or of a happy situation (which usually does not last that long)…we are on the move again always in search for what would make us satisfied. It’s a never-ending cycle. My marginal utility of happiness is constantly diminishing at such a fast rate. Long before I've even begin to appreciate a good thing or a happy moment, it's gone. It's frustrating to always have to chase after it.

I’ve always asked myself, what would make me truly happy? I really don’t know. How happy is happy anyway? I have high expectations. So being happy might not necessarily be happy for me. There is so much I want to be. There is so much I want to have. There is so much I want to experience.

There are more than a million reasons to be happy about aside from just these alone. I would just have to pay extra close attention to the little things; things that may seem small but contribute the same degree of happiness as the big things...if not even more. Sometimes I feel that I'm failing to see the abundance of happiness in my life...or should I say the excess of it.

Absence should not, I repeat, should not be the main yardstick for happiness.

Big Question Mark

To be or not to be? THAT is the question. I feel like Shakespeare's Macbeth faced with an important decision to make. I must say I'm at a loss...not for words but for sure answers. It started with a call from Smart today. The girl from HR told me they have a job offer. I was beyond ecstatic. I have always wanted to work for Smart. It was after all the very first job interview I had. Six months after and numerous tests and interviews from other companies after, I finally ended up with an offer. Yey! But then after the good news, confusion began to creep in slowly. I had to weigh the other options I had up in the table. Here's the scenario. I am currently working for a very good company. It will almost be my second month this coming October. My uncle and aunt were kind, very kind enough to give me a job so that I wouldn't be idle. Although sometimes I feel that my "work" is idle...that working didn't actually take all the idle time away. It actually added some more of it. Work wasn't really work. Work was not doing anything. Ironic, I know. Don't get me wrong. I like what I'm doing now, if there's work to do that is. Otherwise, I don't feel productive at all. Then there's the new job offer. I know it sounds to good to be true that's why there's a catch to it. It's not going to be a regular job. What they're offering is just a contractual job, which makes me a little apprehensive about accepting the whole thing. I don't really have the exact details with me yet. They say there's a big possibility of being absorbed by the company in the end. But still...it's a big risk. You could just imagine the million of what-ifs going on through my mind right now.

If it's accepting the Smart job, I am more than willing to give it a try... contractual or not. I just feel bothered by the thought of leaving my present job in so short a time, especially when it was my uncle who offered it to me. I don't feel comfortable with the idea of resigning too soon. I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Then there's also my future after the contractual job at Smart. It's still a big question mark. If they don't make me a regular, then sayang lang din. Although maybe the short contract Smart is offering could also turn out to work in my favor, contrary to what I have initially perceived it to be. Who knows I might not like the job? Then I could always look for other jobs...and this time, I could add my short stint at Smart to my work experiences. So now, what's left of all these is the ethical concern. I don't want to have to explain to my uncle, my aunt, my bosses, my supervisor (Did I mention that she has been very nice to me since yesterday which I hope will continue until forever...I'm now officially taking back what I said about her in my last blog entry.), and my officemates why I'm going to leave so soon already. Although if they would think about it which I hope they do, I wouldn't be a big loss to them. I don't really have any major responsibilities as of now. I'm not even handling any important items at the moment. I don't think they would even feel my absence. Hehe Really...I do not mean to sound degrading or unconfident of myself...it is after all the truth. I'm just stating it matter of factly.

So now the question remains...to be or not to be? To be SMART or not to be SMART? Haha I guess the answer lies where I would be happy the most. For now, I honestly don't know where that would be. That's why I left the decision to my dad. He told me to be SMART. My sisters and friends also told me the same thing. So I think I will be smart...hopefully without regrets.

Damn the Cutter

I had a bad accident at work today. I thought my whole left thumb would fall apart. Damn that cutter! I was trying to cut the acoustic board to give as a sample to the supplier. But I ended up cutting myself instead. It was actually an accident waiting to happen. I knew I couldn’t cut the hard board with just a cutter. But I was stubborn. All I remembered was that I was bent on cutting the thing, and then the next thing I know my thumb is bleeding already. I thought it wasn't going to stop. The person who was waiting to get the sample must have a scare out of his life. He was actually looking on to see if I had already cut it into pieces. Being clumsy that I am, I forced the cutter into the thick board until the cutter snapped and went straight down to my poor thumb. I actually broke a third of the blade. I left the person outside and went to ask for help. I had blood on the floor and cabinet. I stained my pants as well. It was a good thing though I decided not to wear white today. I was actually wearing white this morning but I decided to change last minute. My officemates were kind enough to give me tissue and alcohol. My boss (not my supervisor…my other boss.) was extra kind enough to help me in stopping the blood from gushing out. She wrapped a rubber band around my thumb tightly. And it worked wonder in minutes. Now I know. Next time something like this happens to me or somebody else (I hope not), I’ll know what to do. After my brief chaotic moment, I went outside to meet the person I left at the lobby. And guess what? He had the thing perfectly cut out. He should have spoken up earlier. My thumb still hurts. It’s literally sticking out like a sore thumb. It’s so painful even with just the slightest pressure put on it. Just moments ago, I used my left hand in stapling some papers totally forgetting about my thumb. The pain was excruciating. It's almost the same as getting your hands accidentally jambed into a door, only this time multiply the pain by ten times. No make that three. Because it's still sore, just a slight brush or a slight bump of my left thumb makes me want to swear !#$%, which I don't do by the way. It's a good thing it wasn't my right thumb or else it would have left me pretty useless the whole day.

Anyways, besides having realized that I should be careful with even the smallest thing such as a cutter…I also realized that I don’t want to grow old single. Haha I know it has no connection with the thumb realization. But anyway, it’s slowly dawning upon me how sad life would be if there's nobody to share it with. I used to let myself think that I could be happy whether alone or not. They say you don’t need somebody to be happy for true happiness is found within the self. As much as I would like to agree, I am beginning to think otherwise. Though I know it really depends on the person's circumstances because happiness does vary from one person to another. But for now, I would like to believe that having a blissful married life is more fulfilling than a solitary one.

Before anything else, I want to clarify that this discussion has nothing to do with my present life whatsoever or is connected in any way to what I am feeling right now. It's just something that I would like to reflect on after having been exposed to more than my usual fare of married people, and where the single people are considered a minority at work. I can't help but compare especially after seeing some of my happy married officemates and then having a forty-plus years old for a supervisor whom I must say, I am not so fond of these past few days. And did I mention that she is is single? Yes she is, and she's giving me enough reason to believe that my theory is true.

Bashketball

I'm crossing my fingers that Ateneo will win today's crucial game against La Salle. The past two games that I have watched Ateneo play, they lost. I watched them lose their last game to FEU last Saturday at Araneta. As a result, Ateneo has to play a deciding match with La Salle. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't watch the game today. Then maybe we'll win. That's some wishful thinking. There probably isn't even any connection with my watching the games to them losing. I'm actually just consoling myself because Ma didn't allow me to cut work. My sisters will be watching the game today with Lower Box tickets! Of all the days where we could have gotten good goooood tickets, (I don't think I could overempasize more.) God have chosen it to be today...a Tuesday....when I have work. But it's okay I know I'm going to be rewarded for being good...for not skipping work. Hehe Although if I had it my way, I would have definitely gone to Araneta. If I had it my way, I would have made Ateneo number one in the rankings so that there wouldn't be a deciding match to begin with. Too bad, things don't want to work out the way I want it to be. The circumstances seem to not want to cooperate with me... for now anyway. I guess I would have to content myself getting live updates from the UAAP website while stuck at work.

My friend told me just now, Ateneo is trailing by 7 points...25-32. I just hope it wouldn't balloon into a big lead. And I also hope Cardona will not be at his best today. I hope his teardrop shots woudn't sink in today. I hope Yeo and Tang will make a lot of boo-boos today. I hope Franz Pumaren gets thrown out of the game. Hehe That's what you call bash-ketball. Friendly bash-ketballing. Though I don't think the DLSU team is capable of messing up their game anyway. No team in their right mind would throw away a crucial game such as this one. I must also admit the DLSU players got a bit of an advantage. Though for just a weeny tiny bit only. The DLSU team plays more solidly and more consistently than the Ateneo players. That's why Ateneo really has to win big today because I think DLSU could definitely manage to win two times. They have better chances of forcing a second and a third game on their opponent. As for the Ateneo team, we really really have to win in order to secure the second spot. We'll be damned if we don't. It's going to be harder to get back the momentum and win those two games. But then if Ateneo loses today and slips to third place, I'm still confident we'll be able to get into the championship round, that is if everything goes well according to Sandy Arespacochaga's plan.

Seeing Things Differently

I should stop complaining. It's not that I literally complain all the time. It's actually more of a thing that I have within myself where I constantly have these 'bickering thoughts'. This usually happens on days when I feel the mediocrity of my life staring at me and all I can do is not much but to stare right back at it...helpless, clueless. Stumped. A flood of thoughts or should I say a flood of complaints usually comes rushing in next. Let's see...there's the what-if's, maybe's, why me's, why this and why that. I find it ironic how I've always managed to question the current status of my life, never being fully satisfied with what I have or with where I'm at despite everything being more than fine and dandy. Somehow even though my life in general may be doing okay, I feel that it does not necessarily follow that things are in the right place and are in order...well maybe not yet for now anyway. So even if I currently have a good job, I don't feel happily satisfied with it because I feel that maybe I could have been achieving my maximum potential by doing something else or by being somewhere else, all of which leaves me more dumbfounded than ever for not knowing what to do and for not knowing where to even begin. (That was too long a sentence!)

Sometimes I feel like a zombie routinely doing the same thing over and over again everyday. Wake up, go to work, go home, sleep, wake up, go to work, go home, sleep...you get my point. I think to myself, maybe I should get a higher paying job or maybe I should get a more fun job, one where it doesn't feel like work at all. But then maybe I'm just so brainwashed with society today where advertisements galore always depict both success and fulfillment as something that is related to a blossoming career, where the ultimate job is getting paid for work that does not feel like one, and where "real" ambition is when either fame, fortune, or position is always involved. Obviously I'm far from attaining any of these, that's why I don't feel satisfied. That's why here I am still complaining.

All of which leads me to thinking that maybe everything is not what it is cracked up to be, that maybe we have reality messed up. If this is the case then everybody's in big trouble. There is going to be some major fixing up to do. The way I see it, having the drive to do something is already a passionate individual at work regardless of the degree or extent of the goal that is being achieved. In my case, it doesn't mean that I am lacking ambition or passion if I decide not to be a career woman and decide to become a teacher or a housewife instead. I may not aim for the highest star, but I'm still aiming for a star just the same...with still the same intensity, with still the same passion no more no less as if I were to become the highest paid or most powerful woman in the land.

Perhaps I should change my understanding of mediocrity, because real mediocrity lies in being indifferent and remaining stagnant with one's life...accepting everything as a given and not doing anything about it. As long as I'm not that, then I guess I'm okay. Perhaps it also would do me a lot of good if I try to switch my noisy inner thoughts to off mode more often. I should just enjoy listening to the silence...This way I don't get bothered easily. And I stop complaining too.

Availability Status

I always dread being asked about my status (read: availably single, happily attached, or just dating around). It's the follow up questions that further make matters worse. If you have an affirmative answer, the next most likely question would either be how long have you been into it or how many relationships have you gone through prior to the present one. On the other hand, if your answer is a negative one, you would either get the shocked "Why not?" inquiring looks or the sympathetic "I'm sorry." look. I don't know why I dread answering these kind of questions. I'm not sure if it's because of the lack of answers and/or explanations I've got up on my sleeves when asked about it, or perhaps it could also be my fear of being put into a certain stereotype. Some people can be judgmental. They conjure up their own assumptions about you ranging from being too picky for one's own good to being too indifferent to be bothered with matters regarding the heart.

Honestly I couldn't careless about my answer. But when they do the follow ups, that's when I start to get conscious of myself. I get a little disoriented so much so that I start asking myself, what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I still availably single? But fortunately, I don't stay in this place too long. I snap out of it and ask back, why not so? As long as I'm happy living the single life and as long Prince Charming is not ready to drop around the corner just yet, I don't see it as a necessity to have an "attached" sign on my heart. I always remind myself that I can't give in to pressure. I can't go into a relationship for the wrong reason. You cannot just commit to a person for the sake of doing so or to satisfy some urges or what have you. You have to learn how to sort and differentiate the real feelings from the short-lived ones. You commit because you know you seriously and sincerely want it period, and not for any other reason.

Right now, I don't think I do want it just yet or maybe I do. I can't say for sure. I guess I would just have to always have a suitable answer in handy...just in case someone asks again.

Weekends

It has been a great weekend. Saturday, I got to see friends whom I haven't seen in awhile. I went to Jayan's dinner at Oyster Boy. I arrived late already because I had dinner with my family first. By the time I got there, everyone was done eating already. But it's okay. I went mainly because of the people and not the libre itself. Afterwards we skipped dessert and went straight to my house instead. We karaoked (if there is such a word) 'til late. Javi was the performer of the night, while Sher gave everyone a surprise with her singing prowess. I didn't know she could actually sing that well...as in with all the high vibrating notes. I give props to Javi and Jayan as well for singing even if they were out of tune on some parts and for being unintentionally funny. Hehe It's nice getting together again with the MISA people...finally. I already miss the company especially now that we all have our own respective jobs, everyone's just so tired or busy to update on each other's lives. At least with dinners like this, I don't feel as detached anymore from my social life which I feel, sad to say, is almost non-existent at times.

Sunday, I got to visit my former grade school/high school alma mater again. I haven't been to ICA in a very long time. It's been more than four years now since I left...or should I say graduated. Revisiting my school brought back a lot of fond memories...friends and the games we played every breaks, the canteen food, intramurals, school fairs, prom, ball, and the list goes on. Although it was nice being back again, it kind of made me feel old in a way. I can't believe that I've spent more than twelve years there. I also can't believe I've managed to survive. I can't imagine being holed up to 8-9 hours a day, 5 times a week inside the school anymore. After having a taste of college, I surely wouldn't want to exchange it for high school. There is just so much more freedom in college. Now that I've also graduated from college, it got me to thinking if I've thoroughly lived out my stay at Ateneo.

More often than not, I tend to take for granted the things I have now and then regret later on for not being able to fully maximize the fun happy moments and opportunities while it was there. I have to admit I'm missing college more now especially after having a taste of the real world. I thought that nothing could be as more real as university life. Unfortunately I was wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for the real real world. Being a student is indeed a far outcry from being an employee of some big company which most often than not is ridden with politics. If only I knew this earlier on, I would have savored every minute of my student life. Though a little less satisfied and a few regrets added, I could still say with much confidence that I've done a pretty good job in both of my alma maters. I would never be the me now if it weren't for the experiences and learning I got from my schools.

What actually brought me to ICA was the badminton tournament that my Diko was organizing for their batch. As a support to her, my sister and I joined the tournament. This morning was just for the leveling. The actual tournament will be two or three weeks from now. Candice and I were not sure as to what level we belonged. So we chose the last level, which was class E just so we wouldn't be paired with the people who were already good at it. There were also these two girls(four batches higher than us) who signed in the class E level. We were asked to play a match with them so that the organizers could determine the correct level we were supposed to be in. Luckily, Candice and I won the match. Whoohoo! =) The game wasn't that serious because Crizelle and Cherie were joking and laughing most of the time. I enjoyed playing the game because it wasn't serious at all. There was no pressure to perform well. It was all in the name of fun. After the leveling, we went to Olympic for our weekly cousins' badminton thing and played until noon. Overall Sunday was a good sweat day for me. I haven't had the time to exercise lately, so I'm glad I got a good workout.

Good Things

It has been a good day for me. Although nothing extraordinary happened, I was in high spirits the whole day. It wasn't the happy 'I'm on cloud nine. I'm on a high' kind. Not that kind of happy. It was more of feeling grateful...gratefully happy to be exact. It's like there's this huge sigh of happy relief that yesterday wasn't a continuation of today...and that I was able to start and end the day positively. I feel 'gratefully happy' that I have had a productive day without feeling sluggish or bored. Perhaps I would have to sleep earlier from now on. Just like what I did last night, because it produced good results for me today.

Since I'm in such a happy mood, I would like to reflect on the many good things in life... both small and big, expected or unexpected. (Thanks to Christine Castro's maganda.org for inspiring me to have my own list too.) This is one way of helping me not forget what I have....and what I do not have as well. Although I think the former compensates so much already that I don't really see the latter as something that is utterly lacking in my life. It's something that I can learn to deal and live with. I think it's just a matter of simply accepting the fact that you can't have everything. By everything I mean both the material and non-material aspects. In life, you're bound to win some and lose some. You can't just hoard all the good things in life. You got to share if not give some away too.

And here are the good things...in no particular order.
- Going home early
- Hershey Bites
- Breakfast / Brunches at UCC
- Rainy days
- Seeing EDSA traffic free
- McDo's yummy chicken (a new found discovery of mine!)
- KFC's Go-Go Dragon and sour cream Funshots
- Having a good laugh
- ipod mini
- Family dinners
- Playing with my nephews and nieces
- Having a productive day
- YM
- Weekly digests with Krizia and Jane
- Wi-fi at home
- Friendly people, friendly strangers
- Having a fully-functioning, problem free PC
- Scoring tickets to Ateneo games
- Having a good badminton workout every Sunday

Rants

It's the first day of the month. As much as I want to start and end it with a positive note, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do so. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion today particularly this afternoon. I can't wait for this day to end...well, for work to end that is. I am bored out of my mind already. There's not much to do right now in the office. I thank God for the Internet. My watch says it's exactly 4pm right now. That leaves me an hour and a half to go before I'd get to leave this place. I swear I could literally hear the hands in my watch ticking away...every second. That goes to show that I'm really really bored. So bored that I'm writing this blog here in the office with the hopes of taking at least some of the boredom away. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate work. It's being idle that I don't like. It's okay if I'm at home doing nothing, because that's what you're supposed to do. Be lazy. Relax. Watch TV. But it's a different story when you're at the workplace. You should have at least some tasks to do, enough to keep you sane throughout the day. I don't want to rant about work anymore. It is not my intention to sound as if I have the worst job in the world. I actually do enjoy work if there is work to do, that is. Maybe today's just one of those long and lazy days for me where everything seems to be endlessly dragging on to who knows where. Or maybe it's the effects of skipping lunch. I wasted 67 pesos just for an adobo meal which I thought was chicken, but turned out to be chicken intestines. I thought the first bite tasted funny already. I decided to try another part and it still tasted the same. That's when Jona said it was not chicken meat but chicken intestines. There goes my lunch...and there goes my 67 pesos too...

If only I knew the surprise (which was not so pleasant) that I got this morning was going to be some kind of premonition or something, I would have worked half-day instead. This morning, I got a memo from my immediate supervisor who was told by her boss (one of the two bosses) to make the memo instructing us to adhere by the new strict rules that they've decided to implement in our division. I guess it's effective only in our division since we were the only ones who got the memo which is very unfair. We did nothing to deserve the memo. The memo instructed us to maintain office work ethics at all times which obviously they feel we have not been following. Totally untrue. First, it stated that once we have punched in the bundy clock, we were supposed to be in our work stations right away or we will still be considered late. I must say that the work station is at the ground floor, while the time in/time out is way up at the 20th floor. I don't think there should be any explanations as to why we can't be in our workplace on time. It's self-explanatory. Okay, so say I timed in at 830am. How am I supposed to run down and be at my desk at 830 sharp with all the elevators full during this time? I know I could go to work earlier than 830 but then what would be the use of the 10 minutes allowance time that the company have implemented in the first place? Then there's the no eating of snacks at workstations...only in the pantry. My question is, is there even a pantry in the office? It's so small I can't consider it a pantry. A hallway, yes maybe. But pantry, heck no. There are no chairs...even stools at least. So how are we supposed to eat our snacks in the pantry? I know I should not be bothered by this since I don't eat snacks. But it's just so unreasonable to hear. Then there's also the use of YM, Chikka, and Internet during office hours. This I honestly admit I am guilty of. But then I wouldn't use it if I had work to finish. I'm already old and responsible enough to know when to work and when to play. I only use the Internet when I'm not doing anything. Just like now. And last but not the least, the memo stated that horseplaying was strictly prohibited in the company premises. Horseplaying? I don't think it's the right word to use. We're not even joking or laughing half of the time. I can't understand where they got this idea from. I'm not actually as affected as I may sound. I'm actually pretty amused--but not in an amused funny way...Because it's unfair. My officemates are actually more irritated than I am. I don't know if being new has its advantages since I don't really know the bosses well enough to make a mean judgment of them. I'm not even in my third month yet, it doesn't affect me much especially knowing that I'm not violating any of the rules. Besides I don't really hate the new boss as some of my officemates do. She's actually a kind lady. Maybe the location where our division is situated has its disadvantages. We're directly below the workstation of the boss. So when she comes out to her "veranda" (a term one of my officemate termed...which I found very funny.), the first thing she sees is us. She can probably hear us too. But then I don't see any wrong thing that we have been doing.

I sound like an old rant. I guess today's one of those days where you can't help it. You just have to let everything out in your system...It's a therapeutic way of deleting the day's events and emptying the recycling bin afterwards just to make sure it can't be restored to memory anymore.